Remember the theory of everything

I compartmentalize my life. And when I do, I miss the big picture and do not connect that what is happening now, could perhaps be related to what occurred this morning.

Pain will fallow after encountering Jesus. When I spend moments of life in perfect love where I abide with the one so fixed on my heart, it leaves me in agony. I cannot walk away from these experiences happy or satisfied with this side of the eternal.

Being a human is kind of like being in prison. I am locked up in this cell called time on earth. The moments with Jesus are like the once a week slot of time I am allowed to walk outside and to feel the heat of the sun on my skin. He is the sun. The warmth of his gaze and words of affection make most of my life back in the cell so hard. I know this is the way it is on this side of eternity, but it does not make the hurt any less real. The day I long for is when the prison door is swung wide open and I get to forever be with Him.

Time with Jesus is priceless, but it costs me my heart. This morning I met Him in a beautiful way and now everything inside hurts. I feel like a bruised peach looks: all mushy and blue.

I would not trade my times of perfection for all the money in the world. It is just comforting to know that the pain has a source and a purpose. It should propel me into prayer; for when I am with Him the pain is gone. It should thrust me into a life of righteousness; a bride prepared. And it should stir me to love and support the Church; for only when she is pure and healthy will the Spirit say, “come”.