The first blessing

What does it mean to be poor in spirit? This is a quest I am on, trying to understand the depth of which Jesus spoke in Matthew, when he said; “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

I looked up the word poor in this context and was surprised to read that the Greek is referring to public poverty. To be a beggar is someone who asks strangers for money or food. This is such a lowly situation as a human because it is a place of relying on others to supply your needs. The word also means to be homeless, which I relate to, in the sense of never feeling like earth is my native land. Like this age is just somewhere I am for the present, but at any moment I will escape home for good.

So in order to have the kingdom of heaven, which means to have power and access to the abode of God; I must be in a place of lack, not just in private but in public. Ouch. Those around me should be able to recognize that my lack is deep in the human soul.

Learning about this scripture keeps taking me back to the pull I feel inside for the need to abandon everything to follow Christ. There is no room for me to take things or people with me and the place I see before me is a desert like stretch of land that has no end. In the desert there is nothing to lean on or rest upon. No big trees to sit under for a moment of shade or streams to dip in for refreshing. When you are only relying on Christ in the desert there are intense times of dryness and emptiness. I am starting to get this and my heart battles the flesh, but I will trek on with my friend.

The journey of seeking God is a lonely place. I finally comprehend that I am the only one who can choose this path on the inside. No one else will be responsible for my travels to be like Jesus. The journey is a race and I am fighting to preserve against my flesh and the places of temptation, not against others. Those around me cannot make my legs pump or my arms ride back and forth to press on. I have to run and the pace I set will be determined by the amount of Christ I allow to infiltrate my heart.